This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
