Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
