He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize