We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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