i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
