A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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