Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize