you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
