you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
