wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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