I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
