Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize