8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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