yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
