And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
