Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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