stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
