Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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