tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
