He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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