i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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