Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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