she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need water and some morals
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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