I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Your dad touched me again.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
