You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
