didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
