Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize