He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
