People in love make me want to vomit
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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