I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
