new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize