Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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