he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
