You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
