So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
