Cold hands, warm shart.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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