I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
