I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
