You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
