New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
