Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
