I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
