I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
