I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize