well most of my day revolves around power hour
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
