You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
