I'm lost and stupid without you.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
