Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
