Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize