IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
