miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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