U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
