I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
