But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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