the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
