Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
