OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
