legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
