you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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