C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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