i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
