im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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